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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 06:22
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It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
The truth is more important than the facts.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
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If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
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It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
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A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
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There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
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Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
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In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
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I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
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The trouble with the Internet is that it\'s replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
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If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
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Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
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We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
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